Well here we go again. On with the vivid nightmares that leave me shaking and sweating and terrified to fall back asleep again. I find myself talking in the mirror, having the conversation with myself that I only dream that you would be patient enough to sit down and have with me. I'm tired of pushing you into a box so far back and locked away just so that I can survive each day. But every now and again you remind me of your existence. You shake and rattle the box and leave my head feeling bruised and bleeding again. "Come back to me" would be such a simple way to sum up my thoughts and feelings for you. But unfortunately my mind won't let it happen that way. I know too much about you as it seems, so things could never be the same. So I will remain in my solitude. For as long as I can stand it at least. It's foolish of me to marry the past. Nevertheless one thing I have learned: That I need you. One way or another. When I see you my heart floats, and everything in my body is aligned and at peace. The nagging box is asleep. And I smile when you smile. But then you leave again and I don't sleep or eat for days.
I miss you.
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